It’s so easy to focus on the negative.
As 2015 relentlessly marches toward me (only an hour away, at this point…), I have been forced to reflect on the past year. My knee-jerk reaction was one of ambivalence, heavily leaning towards negativity. The “bad” things that happened this year (big and small) are the first things to pop into my twisted little head. Robin Williams passed away! The Colbert Report ended! Oh, and a great deal of painful (and expensive) health problems have plagued me since the beginning of the year, and they are bothering me as I sit here and type this.
Moreover, there is the matter of Percy. When I lost Gary last year, I was absolutely heartbroken. He was 12 years old and I couldn’t stop repeating “he was too young!” (Looking back at this, I could just choke on the irony) Eric convinced me the best way to move past my grief was to get a kitten. Almost exactly one year later we got Percy, 2 month old Exotic-Shorthair — my first cat that I didn’t get from a pound or find on the street (out of the 12+ cats I’ve had in my life), but a breed I’ve wanted for an incredibly long time. Gary’s death gave me a new respect (fear?) for the brevity of life; when we got Percy, I made an active decision to love him with my whole heart, every.single.day., and devote as much love and attention to him as I possibly could.
Then, 2 months later, we suddenly had to rush him to the emergency vet and put him to sleep. Even though it has been about 7 months, I am still swinging between overwhelming heartbreak and numb disbelief.
This is all very sad. And easy to dwell on. But forcing myself to sit down and write out of the “good and bad” of this year made me realize: 1) how many AWESOME things happened this year and 2) Percy’s death and my health problems shouldn’t overshadow all of these things, but rather make me thankful. Because life is fucking short.
I am so thankful for the amazing things that happened this year!
Click below to see an awesome-ly long list!
If this doesn’t break your heart, you don’t have one.
Over winter break I wanted to write up a “year in review” for 2011. But then I didn’t have the time, so I amended it to “the year in review through pictures.” But then I had a hard time deciding which pictures. I had a lot of good times in 2011, and almost every picture reminds me of something that makes me smile 🙂
Now it’s halfway through April 2012 and I still haven’t posted anything. (By the way, I have barely taken any pictures all year – no time, it hurts me)
SO. I am just going to link to my Facebook albums instead. DEAL WITH IT. 🙂
Summer: click [here] or the pic below
Fall: click [here] or the pic below
Winter: click [here] or the pic below
For earlier in the year, such as our trip to Chicago, you can just go to my album page [here] and surf around.. they are kind of all over the place!
Alright ya’ll, I’ll post a real post later. I have a wedding to get ready for – time to attempt to look like a lady!
So the past few months have been… rough. To say the least. I don’t want to get into why, but the good news is: I am out of that situation. However, I have still been feeling rather sad. Probably because I’ve been doing super constructive things like asking myself “whhhhyyy did I let this happen to me!?” etc. To make matters worse, once the problem was put to bed, I was forced to look at the pile of work I have been too distracted to finish. It’s incredible how easily making a “To-Do” list can completely destroy any modicum of happiness you may be experiencing.
So. The other day I decided to actually take a break (what!? WHAT DO THOSE WORDS MEAN?) and not do a single school-related thing. all day. I was cleaning off my desk and I ended up with a small pile of To-Do lists from the past few weeks. I decided to hang them up and take a picture of myself in front of them – it was supposed to be a light-hearted zombie-esque photo, but instead this is what I was confronted with:
(click to enlarge) That is not a happy face. And this is how I look 95% of the time these days.
After seeing this picture, I kicked my ass into gear and now I am TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF. This is a great time of my life – I will never be this young again, I have an amazing husband and family (and kitties!), I love my peers, my advisor, my research… why am I feeling so down because of someone else? Why am I wasting this amazing (crazy) time!? I am almost halfway through my Master’s program (omfg). Is the next month going to be a nightmare as I scramble to finish my work? Hell yes. But soon enough, it will be over and I will miss it all.
Ok, now it’s time to work on my paper while blasting really cheesy “inspirational” songs…
I’m alive! Kinda.
Fact: 6 months is too long for an update. But it’s not because nothing has happened – it actually feels like everything has happened! I’ve been so busy lately [I can’t even put it into words’]. This is mainly due to the fact that I was powering through my first semester as a grad student. I can report back: yes it is as insane as everyone says it is.
I did get a tiny vacation for Eric and I’s 1 year anniversary. We got each other video games, because we are super-duper gee-golly romantic! We also spend the weekend in Sedona in a rented cabin next to a small lake & creek. I took this picture as we were out petting the owner’s cats (we can’t help ourselves):
You can see more pictures from our trip [here]. We also stopped by Jerome to go to the Puscifer store, which was amazing. Even more amazing: seeing Puscifer live 2 weeks ago! I already loved Puscifer, but I was absolutely blown away by the show. If you haven’t seen them live yet, you should.
What else? I am now 25. I feel old. Thanksgiving was fun, and I’m super excited for Christmas this year. So instead of rambling about the non-interesting things I’ve been up to, I’m going to go finish wrapping presents/xmas decorating!
(without much help from Eric or Gary, I imagine…)
Margaret Dickinson (O’dishoo)
April 6th 1920 – April 8th 2010
The last thing she said to me was “Susie is Margie Dickinson’s baby” – yes I am. and I always will be.
I VOTED TODAY, AND I HOPE YOU DID TOO!
Now it’s time to sit back and wait……. the suspense is killing me!
Btw, I’m wearing [[[[THIS]]]] awesome shirt. You should buy it and be cool like me!
I’ve had some serious IC issues lately, due to my doctor trying out some different meds. They had the complete opposite of the intended effect, so I’ve been in a lot of pain the past month or two. Yeeaaaahh. fun times.
So what’s new with me?
Let’s see… I got myself a Zune! I’ve only had one mp3 player before, back in 2003, but I didn’t use it much and it broke rather quickly. Ever since then I had no interest, as I’m a huge CD fan (yes, still). Well I decided to get one for work and here I am with a sexy little 80 Gb 2nd Generation Zune! Eric got one too. I love it!! but I’m still a CD fan 😛
Eric and I also got an above ground pool. Yes, I know, it’s not the classiest thing in the world, but when it’s 120 degrees outside and you don’t have the money/access for a REAL pool…. ANYTHING pool-like is a godsend! My dad and brother have had one for 2 years now and it’s actually really nice. We spent most of father’s day in pool making huge waves:
(click for larger pic)
Speaking of my brother, July 7th was his 16th birthday! We went to dinner, came back and had cake (his cake was in the shape of a girl’s ass in a thong), opened presents…. I got him a shirt that says “My sister is #4 prostitute in all Kazakhstan” (it’s from Borat, also an inside joke). Plus I convinced my parents to get him Rock Band. So the rest of the night was spent rockin’ out on Rock Band! I LOVE YOU BOO!!!!!!!